Hon I received your latests post to be put onto this community. All the posts come to me via email first and are moderated by myself before they are put onto this community. Sweety, I am not going to put your latest post on here and there is a very valid reason for it. Please don't let this make you feel unwelcome in any way because that's not my intention. Its not because you are struggling with your recovery and you mention in your post that you are still sticking with your Eating Disordered ways. Recovery takes time, a long time and no one here is forced into recovery by anyone and if members of this community relapse, we are all (hopeforly) going to be there for each other for much needed support, encouragement and help. The reason I am not posting the entry is because it is LOADED with very triggering material which I feel is unhealthy for the girls that are visiting here and are also in difficult phase of giving up their EDs. You speak excessively of weight , how much you plan to lose and the fasting you plan to undertake, which I just feel could make a lot of people vulnerable who are day by day trying to overcome this thing .
I am going to open a page in my journal and in future I will reply to entries there of this nature under friends only, in that way I hope you will still feel that I am giving you support and also because I know that talk of this nature will not effect me anymore as it may effect others. I don't know why your therapist said it was ok for you to carry on with your ED when she should be encouraging you to take positive steps forward and not backwards. I know its hard and its tough...probably the hardest thing you will ever have to face in your life. It was the hardest thing for me and everyone here can identify with what you are going through. I hope and pray you understand what I'm trying to say. I want you to get the help and support you need but if weight loss is going to be discussed on this community at all it should be in a healthy and constructive way. There are other means of losing weight besides starvation and bingeing and purging and that's what came as a profound realisation to me when I began to really recover. I promise you that you can lose any weight in a safer way than what you have mentioned in your post. By fasting hon, you are only setting yourself up for more of a struggle. Fasting prepares your body for a binge because physically your body is going to kick in all its survival mechanisms to make you want to eat and when you do, because of your psychological struggles you will probably lose control all over again and end up feeling even crapper than when you started in the first place. Maybe we should be looking at the real reason for why you seem to be stuck at the place you are now with your ED? What has caused your ED? What isues do you feel you need to overcome.
I'm really going to make an effort to post as much helpful and practical excercises. as I can on the community so give it a read and try out some of the stuff. I know you are struggling. I know! A Huge hug to you girl and I am sorry you are going through this but know that you CAN do it, but you have to be able to admit to yourself that you do have a problem and at least 20% of you must want to get better.
TO ALL MEMBERS : messymiajess really needs our support right now because she is going through a really tough phase.
I hope to still see you post here because I know you can make a huge contribution to the community. All I ask is that when you do post sweety that you not talk about plans to lose weight by using unhealthy ways.I know you probably don't mean to...its the damn eating disorder that makes one focus so obsessively on a thing.
Please let us know how you are doing and how you feel about what I have had to say. In fact, anyone and everyone can comment on this and give me there constructive opinion.